I started this blog close to two years ago. And in that time I have written (on and off) about the ‘best this’ and the ‘greatest that.’ But as we all know, without the bad, we wouldn’t know what good is. So for this round of entries, I am going to write about the crappiest things around us. It’s going to be a celebration of the bad and cheesy.
I realize that there is a mess of people who’ve dedicated a lot more time to this type of research than I, and to those patient folks I tip my hat, but to my friends and readers, I present to you a list of the worst must-see movies ever made (there are thousands of bad movies to avoid watching; this list is not about those):
5. Robot Monster (1953): This movie is so bad it’s almost unfair to list it. The super low-budget flick (created in four days) explores the relationship between an alien killer robot (or a gorilla with a diving mask) and the remaining few humans on Earth that it tries to wipe out. There are elements of horror, sci-fi, romance, and philosophy in this tale.
4. Snakes on a Plane (2006): The highest budget and most recently made on the list. I’m sure you remember when this movie came out—a summer blockbuster, featuring the one and only Samuel L. Jackson. He’s had it with these motherf@%#in’ snakes on this motherf@%#in’ plane! And who cam blame him?
3. Death Bed, the Bed That Eats (1977): It eats fruit, fried chicken, and people. It’s hard to describe how bad this movie is, so I’ll just leave it up to the clip below to do its magic.
2. Black Belt Jones (1974): This one is a staple in a line up of Blaxploitation movies, a film genre that came from 1970s America and catered to an urban black audience. Jim Kelly, martial artist-cum-actor plays the role of an FBI agent avenging the death of a Karate schoolmaster.
1. The Room (2003): Where do I begin with this one? The Room is a story about love, lust, marriage, friendship, family, betrayal, life, death, cancer, sex, drugs, alcohol, work, money, and football. There aren’t many topics out there left unexplored in this masterpiece. The movie was written, produced and executively produced, funded, and directed by the main actor, Tommy Wiseau. I recently attended a special screening of this at the Rio Theatre in Vancouver; it was hosted by the legend himself (Wiseau) who has learned to bitterly embrace his cult following and success and not-so-skillfully avoid answering questions pertaining to the movie. The Room is my favourite bad movie ever; it is a must-see!
As I previously mentioned, I am certain there are movies not mentioned above worthy of this list, but these are my picks for now. I’ll post another list if I’m ever inspired by another batch.
